it's never a short story ...

Where do I begin? Let's rewind a little to a few months ago. I told Doug that I wanted to change my "family physician" to Dr. Stiggall. Dr. Stigall is the physician that treats my in-laws, my parents and Doug. I joked saying that I felt left out since everyone else was his patient. I also knew that it had been quite a while since I had had a physical. 3 years to be exact. I hadn't had a full physical, aside from a girlie apt., since the one we completed for our adoption paperwork. I figured it was time to get in.

So on October 9th I had my physical with Dr. Stigall. It went well and everything seemed to be in check - that day I felt fine.
That night I began to have an aching in my lymph nodes under my neck. I thought I must be starting to get sick and wondered when the soar throat would appear. By Tuesday, no other symptoms had arrived but the lymph nodes had gotten progressively more swollen. I set out that morning to do my blood work for the physical (because i had to fast) and then I went to the local Urgent care about my nodes. The doctor quickly looked me over, felt of them and then said that I may be fighting something .. probably strep. With little bedside manner she threw in that it could be "mono" and if they didn't go away .. things like this could also point to lymphoma. WHAT? Did she really say that so cavalier? She gave me an antibiotic that would last 10 days and sent me on my way. Mental note ... next time, I won't go to Urgent Care.

9 days later .. no change. I remember telling Doug that something just didn't feel right and I thought I'd call Dr. Stigall. I went in and indeed he said that the two chains of nodes running down my neck were swollen. He thought perhaps it was something bacterial and so he prescribed a different antibiotic that would cover a larger range of bacterias. In the meantime, the lab had not gotten my blood work back so he said he was "curious to see what that said" and would be in touch soon.

6 days later ... still no change and done with the next round of antibiotics. At this point I was beginning to feel very fatigued and getting the things done in my day seemed impossible. I was sleeping like a rock at night ... it actually all seemed to point to and indicate a possible mono situation.
So, back to the Dr. I went. I told Dr. Stigall that I just wasn't myself and they were still not going away. He agreed that they were still very swollen and seemed to take things a little more seriously (not that he didn't the first time). More questions, more probing into how I felt and what I was feeling. He said he'd like to do addition blood work .. test for things that aren't routing on a CBC panel. He then gave me a B-12 shot in hopes it would give me some energy until as he would say "he could fix me". Once again, he'd be in touch.

So I waited for the blood work and then yesterday at 3:00 the phone rang. On the other end was Lacy, the sweet nurse whom I have seemingly gotten to know over the past 3 weeks. She said "Cristie, Dr. Stigall needs to see you today and he wants to do a Chest X-ray". "Today", I said. "Yes, today, how long does it take for you to get here". "45 minutes". "O.K. great, I'll put you down for 4:00 .. be sure to tell the front desk your here and they'll come and get me".
Today .. like as in 1 hour. My stomach sank.

Immediately, the enemy had my head spinning. I called my Mom who had graciously taken Maliah for the day and who was on her way to get my kids from school. Through my tears I told her I was scared and then she said she'd go with me. She said not to worry .. he probably thought it was pneumonia or something.

Next call .. Doug. He listened and then admitted shock. He too said he'd meet me at the office.

Once at the office I was given two sets of Chest X-rays and awaited to see Dr. Stigall. As we sat in the room it felt like time stood still. Doug asked me what was going through my mind ... wonderment of what was going on was all I could say.

Dr. Stigall came in with the films and began to tell me all sorts of things. To be honest, as I told him, it's all Japanese to me .. what does it mean? I remember telling him at one point, "I don't know what your saying to me".
First he said that my blood had a high level of something called "ACE". I looked it up and at this point can only remember the word "Angiotensin and Enzyme". He said this was an indicator of something called "Sarcoidosis". He then began to explain that on my chest film there were several small spots that shouldn't be there. Showing me them I could see them as well. He felt that with the high levels and these spots it was indicating that indeed this was a "Sarcoidosis" symptom. Still unclear Doug asked "is this treatable". He said indeed it was ... praise the Lord. He proceeded to write it down and hand me a piece of paper with it on it.
He then went on to say that my white blood count was good but that he could not rule out lymphoma.
Next step he said was a CT scan that would show the size of my lymph nodes. As he continued to talk my mind wondered in a thousand different directions. WHAT was he saying ... was I dreaming? This isn't and couldn't be real?
The last thing he said was that he just didn't know ... and that with a CT scan and a possibly biopsy, we'd have a better indication of what we were dealing with.

As we closed out the appointment, Dr. Stigall looked at both of us and asked if he could pray over me. In that moment my eyes flood with tears ... THIS is why I felt left out .. THIS is why he Lord led me here. The Lord knew what was going on and is going on in my body .. he knew that I needed someone who has the faith and trust in the Lord that in all honesty I needed to lean on in these moments. Dr. Stigall shared that he was working with another Dr. in his practice on my case (an infectious disease Doc.). He shared that he told her that I had come to him for the first time this month. He looked me square in the eyes and said "She said you came to me this month for a reason".
So pray he did. He prayed for wisdom, and direction. He confessed not knowing all the answers but that our Lord does. He prayed for the will in our lives and for a healing - my Doctor prayed with us and then gave Doug and I both a big hug. How big is my GOD!

So today, it all seems like a dream. I haven't yet "told" anyone with exception to my family. What do I say ... because I don't really know.
What I do know is that something isn't right. What I do know is that last week I told Doug that I had an uneasiness in my spirit and today I know that that was the Holy Spirit (yes ... we should LISTEN) prompting me. It was that uneasiness that prompted me to call back one more time. I know that the enemy is trying to place thoughts into my mind and I rebuke them, I know that the Lord who created and knows me ... knows this. I know that it was no coincidence that I felt prompted to make a Dr. apt with Dr. Stigall in the very beginning, I know it's no coincidence that the Lord placed me in the care of someone who seeks him for answers. I know that when my phone rang I was working on my bible study "an attitude of faith" which today seems all so fitting ... the Lord preparing me and showing me that I can indeed trust in him and yes, the evidence of things we know but cannot see!

So I ask that you pray for clarity. I ask that you pray that this .. whatever it is ... is something easily treatable. I pray that he would give me a calm spirit and that the enemy of doubt and fear would be rebuked and would flee from my mind and thoughts! Your prayers are coveted. I do know that every one of you, that read this and pray is a warrior in my battle ... one that I cannot fight alone.

So I wait .... and trust and yes, put my study of Faith into practice!