MARTINE MADNESS: March 2010

It's been a LOOOONG 5 months. If you follow me along much, you'll know that I have been plagued with all sorts of ailments that date back to October 9, 2009. I have had every medical test under the sun ran ... and with confidence I can officially say "I have had THE best physical of my life!".
If you refer back to here, then it will catch you up with how the Lord led me to Dr. Kempf ... my little love note to let me know that in the middle of what I felt was the wilderness, he could see me and he hadn't taken his hand off of me.
So I returned to Dr. Kempf on March 2, 2010 for a follow up on all the blood work and the total body bone scan he had run. For the month prior, he had me taking Celebrex for inflammation as well as multiple supplements. I am not sure I saw a huge change in the way I felt except that If I look back to how I felt in October and November until today ... I am world's away from where I was. Still have pains, still have weird aches and tender spots in my ribs. Still feel pain in my knee joints at times, often in my hips .. some days better than the others ... but there is improvement I believe.
So I returned to see him and was so excited to hear these words "NOTHING showed up in your blood ... no celiac disease, no RA, no Lupus ... nothing!". He said the same for the bone scan with exception to the fact that he did say that my spine had slight scoliosis. My prescription: take some Yoga and Pilates classes to strengthen my back muscles and core. YOU GOT IT!

As he visited with me he said that I did have some of the "trigger" spots for Fibromyalgia, in which there is nothing definitive to test that with. He said "you may keep that in the back of your head". I didn't say it aloud, but as he left the room for a minute I turned to Doug and said "No way will I put that in the back of my head ... that is the enemy's prescription for a life sentence of pain". No way will I fill my head with anything that could rob my life of HIS abundant life. No way!

So Dr. Kempf feels that I am dealing with something he calls "Post Viral Sydndrom". He doesn't have a definitive test for such a thing but believes that the swollen lymph nodes and the chronic pain is the result of a virus that has plagued my body. He said that he has seen cases of people who have dealt with such symptoms for 6 months, 12 months or more. He said he believed that 6 months from now that I'd be calling him and telling him I'm pain free, that there would be no need to keep those future follow up appointments. NOW, that is what I will put into my head and something I do want to set my heart to believe!

You know, all that I have gone through and what Dr. Kempf is saying falls right in line with a few messages from the Lord that have been delivered to me through a few incredible prayer warriors. As I think over these past five months, and through all these tests, I have to stop and ask myself just what the Lord is wanting me to learn and take away from this experience. I know that in times of wilderness, there is definitely something he is teaching us and this journey has been no different.

In the beginning of this "virus" and during the time that my lymph nodes were swollen, a precious woman that I know invited me to her home. She asked if she could visit with me and pray with me. She had called and shared that in her quiet time the Lord had given her a picture and a vision of me that she needed to share. I listened in awe as she gave a vivid description and then said with firmness .. the Lord said you have a "toxin" and you will be fine.

Since coming to know the Lord, I have always believed in the power of prayer but the times that would follow this visit with this friend would prove to grow my spiritual eyes into the realm of his Kingdom that I may never fully understand. I have begun to see the true power of the holy spirit as he manifested himself through others to speak to me.

I was prayed over one day in a way that I won't ever forget. From across the room, my sweet friend asked "Are you o.k., you don't look well". Without giving her any indication of where I was in pain in those moments (my chest area), she moved in towards me and said "Can I pray over you"? Another friend was walking up at that time and together they began to pray. S** began to pray aloud. As she did she placed her hands on my chest bones just below my neck ... in the exact spot I might add that I was feeling the pain. I didn't tell her that was where I was hurting .. how did she know? The prayer continued and I literally could feel heat moving from her hands into my body. I can tell you that I had mixed feelings of an awkward uncomfortableness to total peace I still don't understand. She continued .. and then paused. Thinking she was finished, I began to look up at her and when I did, she drew in closer .. and closer. In the moments that followed, I experienced something I have never felt. The holy spirit manifesting himself through her. I can only explain it as praying in tongues ... something I am not versed in, nor have never witnessed. Her hands began to tremble and I began to weep. She asked "I see a bright light, does this mean anything to you"? She described where she saw it. The same place that ached in pain. She continued to pray and then, as she finished, she embraced me. I was in tears. Looking over at the other precious woman who had walked up in the beginning, I noticed she was still praying .. only she wasn't praying for me, she was praying for "S" whom when I looked at had turned as white as a ghost and looked completely exhausted. My friend still praying, opened her eyes and we made an exchange that said "Did you feel what I felt, did you hear what I heard, did you see him MOVING"?
I can't tell you definitively that I was healed in that moment but I can tell you that the following Monday, I went in for my CT scan. The X-rays the Thursday before had revealed that I had spots on my lungs ... you know, the chest area that plagued me in pain. Upon receiving the results of the lymph nodes scan and the chest I was greeted with these words ... "the spots are gone, and your nodes are "Normal".
Did the holy spirit heal me in those moments? I cannot fully attest to it ... but I do know that the Lord used those moments to show himself to me in a way I had never seen! Looking back, I believe her hand became his!

So a few weeks go by and I am invited to a healing service. I go. I actually did a post about this ... the awkward out of my comfort zone faith walk I was on by simply just "going". I went. At the end of the service a few ladies from my church asked if they could pray over me. As they prayed, I felt someone place their hand on my back. My eyes were closed, and though I couldn't "see" that person, I knew the touch. There was something familiar about it. I knew the hand that was on my back ... it was "S". It wasn't because it was "her" ... it wasn't ... I felt the Lord in that moment as she laid her hand on me .. the hand was HIS. As quickly as I felt her hand and the familiar presence, it was gone. As the prayer time ended, I looked up to find "S" on the stage worshipping with her husband. Confused, I thought ... I KNOW his touch ... I know it came from her but she is there ... not here. As quickly as I thought that, another lady looked at me and said "S came and laid her hand on you to pray. Her hand began to shake and I thought you were shaking ... and then, "she left".
The following day I received an e-mail from this woman that read "I came to pray over you when I saw others gather. As I laid my hand on your back and began to pray I heard the Lord clearly say "It is Done". With his message, I left.

The same night, a man I do not personally know well came and stood by my side. As we worshipped he moved in closer and said these words to me "As I was praying I just saw a vision of you touching the hem of his garment". Looking at him in disbelief my eyes filled with tears. He knows in his physical state nothing of my illness and yet the Lord gave him a vision of me touching the hem of his garment. Recalling back to your own bible readings you will recall the woman who was healed simply by the brush of his garment as he passed. I have only shared that moment with Doug and yet ... I am learning that in this life our one purpose is to know him more and make him known more.

I still have pains and I still have aches that aren't "normal" yet but I believe that the Lord has indeed healed me. He has been showing me that I cannot see with what I feel but know with what I know. I know that my tests reveal NOTHING. I know that on multiple occasions he has sent the Holy Spirit to me to show me that he is at work. He has taken my faith into places I had never been. He has walked me into uncomfortable places that honestly, I even hesitate trying to share. I have seen him work and manifest himself in people around me that I have never seen before. I even hesitate to try and put words to those moments because what can words do to tell of his presence? What description could capture his manifestation? Simple black and white on a paper could never do, when everything about him is color!

So, I don't know where this story ends. I don't know on what day I will awake and be pain free. But in the meantime, I reflect back on the moments that I have seen his presence like never before. My savior became more tangible than before. I believe he is relentlessly pursuing me and has used these past 5 months to show me just how much he is madly in love with me ... and sees me.